Early reviews about the future househusband noted in the previous post are rather skeptical. This guy may need a thick skin if he is to succeed with this plan.

One interesting tidbit from MW: given that moms-to-be are sometimes put on bed rest or are unable to work, this guy may want to be in the workforce until his child is born, in case his future wife must leave work for a spell.
- posted by Michael @ 11:34 AM

 
How's this one: I spoke the other day with a man in his early 20s. He had found this site through RebelDad. This man is engaged to be married, and he and his fiancée have already decided not only that he will be a full time father to the 3-4 children they hope to have, but ALSO--and here's the kicker--that he would be a house-husband before that.

Wow. If you think we full time fathers can feel isolated, imagine how many 20-something house husbands there are in America.

Of course, radical that I am, I urged him on. (I also encouraged him to pursue some professional development, even as a hobby, to hedge his bets a bit.)

I commend this guy for his love for his bride-to-be. He is committed to focusing his energy on her career and her professional success. Then, when they have kids, their children will be his number one focus.

If anyone has advice for him, I will forward whatever you email me. (And I will post it if you would like me to.)
- posted by Michael @ 8:45 PM

 
While I applaud Senator Lisa Murkowski for introducing legislation that would provide tax relief to full time parents (see Being Daddy and Rebel Dad for the full monty on this issue), I would have drafted the bill differently.

As structured, her bill would create a separate tax credit to live alongside the existing Child Care Tax Credit. (Currently, all taxpayers--including full time parents--subsidize parents who put their kids in commercial day care. If your kid is with you or Grandmom, your kid is deemed unworthy of this tax break.) Sen. Murkowski has obviously recognized how outrageous this is, and she has heroically stepped up to do something about it.

While I think her bill could pass someday, assuming the GOP continues to control the House, Senate and White House and probably as part of a larger package of tax breaks, I would have done things differently both for strategic and policy reasons.

I would prefer a bill that simply expands the existing Child Care Tax Credit to include all ways parents care for their children, whether they use commercial day care, do it themselves, use Grandmom and Grandpop, sis, a friend, nanny, etc. My dream bill would simply take the federal government out of the business of favoring one way over the others. (As a practical matter, the bill would have to put a dollar figure on these types of child-raising arrangements where money does not change hands, but that is not hard--her bill already does it, for example.) My dream bill would also increase the current maximum that a parent can receive for commercial child care.

This type of bill structure would have some benefits:

* By putting all parents in the same boat and increasing the current amount working parents can receive, it would align the interests of working and full time parents. This would be nice public policy, but more importantly, it would help get the bill passed. Let's remember: most kids under five have both parents working. Better to buy off the majority than try to pass a bill that helps only a minority of people/voters.

* The bill would be stronger rhetorically. Treating ALL parents, and all child raising arrangements, equally. Ending discrimination against grandparents who take care of kids all day. Etc. It would also not stigmatize day care, which the current bill will be accused of doing by its opponents.

* My proposed bill would also put our opponents on the defensive. LET THEM argue that all commercial day care is more worthy of taxpayer support than all grandparents and full time mothers. We can win that debate.

The Murkowski bill will be quietly opposed by the powerful commercial day care industry, and by elements of the ideological Left (sorry, but it's true) who will see the Murkowski bill as an effort to "turn back the clock" on women's liberation. While this segment of the Left pays lip service to equality and choice, they know that having too many parents at home with their kids full time undermines the movement of women into the workforce. Full day kindergarten, Child Care Tax Credits--these programs are designed to make two working parents the norm, and the rest of us appear to be quaint, mildly unnerving relics like the Amish.

I will strongly support her bill and urge everyone to check out Being Daddy's post on how to support the bill, but I fear the Murkowski bill will have a tough time since it singles out full time parents for "special treatment" that will upset advocates for and consumers of commercial day care.

Of course, I should mention that my bill would effectively turn the Child Care Tax Credit into another straight-forward child tax credit, since it would go to all families with young children. Sure! That is as it should be.

But remember. As you read this, the federal government is confiscating money from families sacrificing to keep one parent with their children full time, and handing that money to (often-times wealthier) families sending their kids to commercial day care centers. Outrageous.

Sen. Murkowski has guts to wade into this contentious area. They must be pretty tough in Alaska.

- posted by Michael @ 1:34 AM

 
I am desperate to wade into the Child Care Tax Credit discussion being led by Being Daddy and Rebel Dad, but that will have to wait until I have some more time.

For now, the line of the day, from a parent of a young child, explaining why they only had their child in day care two full days from months 3-6 (after a 3 month maternity leave), and only put the child in five days/week, full time day care at six months:

"By the time he was six months old, he was pretty much independent, so I felt better about going back to work full time."

Independent at six months! My kid's a slacker by comparison.
- posted by Michael @ 5:42 PM

 
We spent some time with an 8 month old today. It's ancient history. I can barely recall my son being 8 months old. (He is almost two and a half now.) Keep a journal, keep a blog, take LOTS of video, do something, but don't rely on our famous words we are now eating: "I will NEVER forget this moment."

On an unrelated topic, I may have commented previously on my son's memory. It's spooky.

Months ago, he reminded us of a waiter's name after we had forgotten it. Today, he recited my home office and cell phone numbers on request. I do not recall ever telling him either number, and my wife denies doing it. But he probably hears me leave phone messages pretty often....

Memo to self: be very careful what you say around that boy.

Finally, I apologize for keeping a page called a "blog" and not posting since August 3. That is false advertising. I will try harder. But with Rebel Dad OWNING the world of full time father analysis, this blog has lost its way....
- posted by Michael @ 9:57 PM

 
This quote from my son from last night may explain why there are so few posts these days:

"Open your eyes, Daddy--you're not tired."
- posted by Michael @ 12:06 PM